January Book Club Pick: The Sugar Jar by Yasmine Cheyenne
Yasmine gently encourages us to pursue life “not from a place of perfection” but rather a “place of honesty.”
Before our book club hangout this weekend, get to know Yasmine a little bit more. She's a fan of Biggie Smalls, meditation, and miso soup!
Last book you read...
Last thing that left you creatively inspired...
My oldest daughter, unprompted, drew a portrait of my youngest daughter and it was amazing seeing what she focused on and how she looks through her eyes. It was beautiful.
Last moment of self-care...
Every morning I wake at 5:30 am. I work out and then do my daily meditation. It fills me up! I love being awake when my home is still quiet.
Last thing you learned about yourself...
That I'm TRULY that girl! I work hard to remind myself of this daily so that when doubt creeps up, it melts away easier.
Describe your last big splurge...
A sweater from Christopher John Rogers. Love him!
Last song you danced to...
Describe your last delicious meal...
I was recently craving soup. I decided to whip up a gingery miso soup; making the broth from scratch. I took my time slowly cutting the green onions and others toppings. It was a glorious meal.
Last place you traveled...
New York City. I'm from there and travel there often, but I always feel like there is something new for me when I arrive and I kinda love that.
My lasting impression of The Sugar Jar…
The running metaphor is keeping your sugar jar FULL. That means making sure that you are scheduling joy into your life on a regular basis. Joy is the ‘sugar’ that fills us up. When we are taking care of ourselves by having boundaries in place, we have more time and availability to access joy when we’re overwhelmed.
When are scattered everywhere and everyone has access to us, we don’t have time for joy because we’re overwhelmed, overbooked, and burnt out. But when we have boundaries in place, and we’re doing those check-ins with ourselves, we can access joy in a way that feels tangible every single day.
Yasmine is super CLEAR on what it means to set healthy boundaries --
"Boundaries are kind of the rules that we put in place that govern the way we show up and the way people are allowed to show up with us in the relationship we have. They’re also how we show up with ourselves.
The first thing that’s helpful with setting boundaries is recognizing that boundaries are not ultimatums, meaning they’re not an opportunity for you to tell people what they need to do or what they have to do, or else. Boundaries are actually an opportunity to create clear communication and understanding of what’s okay for you and what’s not. It’s important to understand other people are going to have boundaries too so compromise is also going to be important in the boundary-setting process."
As a writer, her metaphors, practical tools, and thoughtful storytelling help me resist the dominant narrative of linear growth and self-healing. There is never a point, no matter how successful you are or therapy visits, where you cease to grow. You may fall into old patterns or regress at points. This is natural and calls for patience and a change in tactics rather than despair.
The Sugar Jar is also a memoir about pursuing your dreams. Yasmine shares beautiful, heartfelt stories about her life - you feel her authenticity on the page. She gently encourages us to pursue life “not from a place of perfection” but rather a “place of honesty.”
The tools and exercises in the book are infinitely adaptable, and they are almost guaranteed to lead to creative growth. Some of her suggested tasks, like developing your very own JOY LIST, feel immediately empowering. Within this book, you'll discover a creative companionship and a reason to revisit the material when you're feeling emotionally or creatively stagnant.
I also appreciated the “SAY IT WITH ME” affirmations at the end of each chapter. I added a few of these to my vision board for 2023:
I am always a priority in my life.
I can feel more than one feeling at the same time. Practicing self-forgiveness allows me to hold myself with empathy while recognizing my discomfort.
I am stronger when I acknowledge my limits.
When I listen to my intuition, I’m led to what is aligned for me.
I am ready for healthy relationships where I am met with reciprocity, ease, and fun.
Bonus: Listen to The Sugar Jar Podcast
“A part of the self-healing journey is learning to show gratitude for the journey you’ve walked on. This can be hard because sometimes we focus on all the ways that we may have made choices that didn’t impact us the way we hoped. In this episode, we walk through how honoring who we are makes space for us to accept some of the things that we went through that got us there…”
What did you think of The Sugar Jar? Are you fond of the self-help sweetness…Tell us in the comments below!
ICYMI: Our February Book Club Pick is BLACK WOMEN WRITERS AT WORK. Our virtual discussion and 28-day writing challenge will be for paid subscribers only!
Long out of print, Black Women Writers at Work is a vital contribution to Black literature in the 20th century.
Through candid interviews with Maya Angelou, Toni Cade Bambara, Gwendolyn Brooks, Alexis De Veaux, Nikki Giovanni, Kristin Hunter, Gayl Jones, Audre Lorde, Toni Morrison, Sonia Sanchez, Ntozake Shange, Alice Walker, Margaret Walker, and Sherley Anne Williams, the book highlights the practices and critical linkages between the work and lived experiences of Black women writers whose work laid the foundation for many who have come after.
Responding to questions about why and for whom they write, and how they perceive their responsibility to their work, to others, and to society, the featured playwrights, poets, novelists, and essayists provide a window into the connections between their lives and their art.
"When this classic collection was published in 1984, the writers Claudia Tate interviewed were engaged in the creative work that produced new Black feminist terrains. Today Black Women Writers at Work serves as a much-needed reminder that the imagination always blazes trails that lead us toward more habitable futures."
--Angela Y. Davis, author of Freedom is a Constant Struggle